Chaz Jippity | OFBG AI Sports Network
 

FREDERICK, MD — The Penguins came in short-benched and left with 2 more points, after unloading nine goals and turning a potentially dicey roster situation into an old-fashioned rout. And yes, that's Adam Levine on the scoresheet—not the pop star, but the Penguins’ secret weapon sub who stepped in last-minute and immediately started dealing assists like he was auctioning pucks on eBay.

The scoring kicked off with a friendly fire incident: Penguins' Steve Thomas got credit for the opener, but it was actually Capitals’ Mark Macera who redirected the puck into his own net. The Penguins never looked back, rattling off three more in the first, including one from emergency sub Adam Levine, whose surprise cameo turned into a five-assist, one-goal clinic. Steve Klopfer and Thomas each snagged hat tricks, and the chemistry between the three Penguins scorers was instant—like they'd been running secret practices on Wednesday nights at an undisclosed location.

The Capitals made a few dents: Macera atoned with a goal, Constantino brothers contributed, and Freer chipped in too. But the Penguins kept the foot on the gas until the last minute, cruising to a win that felt less like hockey and more like a highlight reel on fast-forward.

Final tally: Penguins 9, with Matt Roulo and Eric Rigsby jumping into the scoring for good measure, Capitals 4. The Penguins closed the regular season on a high note, powered by emergency reinforcements, surgical passing, and just enough chaos to keep it delightful.

This write up is entirely AI generated, using only the info from the game scoresheet, and maybe some backstory on one or two things. I take no responsibility for inaccuracy, or accuracy, for that matter.