From regional affiliate ChatGPT news:

The Kings and Oilers went head-to-head in what can only be described as a beer league masterpiece—or maybe a disaster, depending on who you ask. The Oilers thought they had things under control when Andrew Ahrens opened the scoring early, but the Kings quickly reminded them that the game lasts longer than five minutes. Bobby Plant and Eugene Goon wasted no time flipping the script, leaving the Oilers scratching their heads after the first.

The second period started like a Kings highlight reel, with four straight goals. Honestly, it was looking like an early mercy rule situation—until the Oilers suddenly woke up from their mid-game nap. Five straight goals, including a last-second buzzer-beater from Brandon Skaggs, tied the game at 6-6 and left the Kings wondering if they should start playing defense at some point.

Then the Kings regained the lead in the third with three more goals, because apparently neither team believed in defending. Jon Walker was so sick of passing that he just buried two in a row for himself. But in classic Oilers fashion, they refused to go away, clawing back yet again. Ahrens, Berliner, and Bernard all chipped in, with Bernard dropping the final dagger at literally the last second.

Final score? 9-9. That’s right—nine goals each in a game where neither goalie could catch a break. One team forgot how to hold a lead, the other team forgot how to start a game, and somehow, we ended up with the most chaotic beer league classic imaginable.

Honestly, just give the goalies a hug after this one. They need it.

This write up is entirely AI generated, using only the info from the game scoresheet. It's probably garbage, but I did tell it to be a little sarcastic. I take no responsibility for inaccuracy, or accuracy, for that matter.